Exhale.Inhale

#memoleaves #grief

“Breathe”.. Is the first part of the statement tattooed on my left shoulder.
“The left side of the body is often regarded as the feminine side, the receiving side, where you take in. It represents, among other things, the mother.” – Louise L Hay (Hayhouse)

She created my mother and her strength courses through my veins.
She witnessed my birth, a stand-in for my absent father and a support to my loving mother, She witnessed my first breath, an outburst, a cry of life
She Loved and Loved and Loved to Give and Till this very day i feel connected to her in that She still gives me life, and joy and comfort.
Though She not tangible and her hugs i can no longer feel, her warmth i carry inside, like the taste of her mixed up and mashed vegetables, like the warmth retained as i held her cold hand.
My Grandmother, Our Grandmother, and His Great Oma..
My how i was well prepared, I knew the combination of toxins were far to strong for your frail frame, so i moved a little closer.
My how i cared for you as I lay upon your chest listening to each and every breath, i heard your heart begin to beat, then it beat a little slower.
My how moved i am till this day that the breath i let out at birth that you so greatly witnessed had turned into the breath you took in (pause) and never let out, and i witnessed
My how sad i feel still that your presence in human form is no longer around, as i relive that moment inside my minds eye, as i wipe the new tears away from both eyes with both palms, the centre of my hands.
I proceed to type with both palms spread out on my warm laptop, I breathe..as my fingers press each letter, not knowing what comes next..
Say something Oma, I know you are there…
“Leive Schat, My darling look how brave you are! I am always in your heart and no, never that far.. Continue your works for the greatness is all around, and Yes in your heart i will always be found.”
As the blood pumps through my body and oxygen is taken in, I see the breath of life lives inside me as “Music” and tattooed on my left shoulder it reads “Breathe Music”.

Your love it was like a sweet melody, the way you used to “chicken” dance with us
Your whistle loud and piercing, like our screeching bright green bird ‘kasha’ that i listen to everyday.. Go go go!

Your Joy Echo’s into Eternity and lives on in our hearts…
My heart…
My sorrow…
My smiles and laughter never far apart.
My Heart.
My Oma…
I Breathe Music.
<3
Inhale…Exhale.

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1 Comment

  1. What a powerful and amazingly written piece. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

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